i don’t want to grow up..


*read this post while listening the song: Simple Plan – Grow Up*

Those sentences quite correlated with the term Peter Pan syndrome. It is not such a mental disorder; it is just a psychological condition in which people who may grow physically as an adult but don’t want to grow up mentally. They choose to hang on to their childhood in avoidance of responsibility being a mature person. But as far as I read references about the term Peter Pan syndrome, what I feel right now is such alike with Peter Pan syndrome. 😐

I don’t want to grow up. Yes, I’m afraid every time I imagine what path that I should choose after college. I already planned my vision for ten years after high school graduation, but future comes earlier than what I have expected. I planned to graduate from college in three and half year, but it was not easy as it expected, in my major we can only graduate in 4 years minimally. And yeah, I need some extended time for that limit. When I planned my vision after high school, I never thought that future would come so fast. I don’t know, whether it was because I was enjoying my college life too much so that I don’t want to move on or it was because I didn’t get any good in life over those years. 😐

In Peter Pan book authored by J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan is a boy who doesn’t want to grow up and lives in Neverneverland where people do not grow old. If only the Neverneverland world does exist, I’ll be a member of the citizen who will stay there and living my early twenty’s life peacefully. Since my 20th birthday, this feeling keeps haunting me. I am really really afraid of being adult with their life complexions. May be it was because I’m enjoying myself too much of being self-centered all this time. But me, as a woman, my biological clock already ticking. 😦 I feel like I need some extended time in my early twenty’s to enjoying myself being self-centered. All this time, it feels like: no, it was not enough! 😡

But then someone told me, if we’re not growing up, we will never know how beautiful the path that we choose in three or four years later. Because we all surely going to grow old as the clock ticking. And life is too beautiful if we just choose to hang on to our comfort zone. Yeah, but still, I don’t want to grow up. 😐

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7 comments

  1. hehehehhe… paling enak gak perlu grow up dan gak perlu sekolah. peter pan banget 😀
    kalau harus ngulangi SD-Kul juga males 😀
    TK boleh lahh…

    1. paling enak itu jaman SMA-kuliah sih 😛

      1. hmm… asal tak harus mengulang matematika teknik 2 😀

      2. hahaha eh saya dapet matek juga lo dulu, diajar pak teguh. tapi karena pas uas beliau sakit akhirnya nilai dipukul rata jadi B sekelas 😆

  2. Waktu itu dosen mipa sih matek 2, dapat D+ itu juga karena kemurahan hati beliau. Diulangi berkali2 gak pernah dapat lebih tinggi dari D… 😀 😀

    1. lah, sampe mas lulus tetep D dong kalo gitu?

      1. Benar sekali, Ada 1 D dan 2 D+ di transkrip saya 😀 😀

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